Clark Griswold as CEO: How Would He Fare in the Corporate World?

Clark Griswold, the lovable (and slightly unhinged) family man from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, is an undeniable icon of chaos, optimism, and relentless ambition. But what if we swapped the twinkling Christmas lights and family road trips for the corporate boardroom?

Could Clark really handle the high-stakes world of CEOs? Let’s rank his performance across critical leadership traits, all with a comedic twist.

1. Experience: Does Clark’s Resume Hold Up?

Clark is an accomplished family man (we think?) with a passion for “perfect” holidays. He’s also a seasoned veteran of comically disastrous family vacations. While his day job as a “food additives designer” in the movie does hint at technical expertise and familiarity in the corporate world , his track record in execution is, well, concerning.

Clark Quote: “We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas!”

Sure, he means well—but CEOs need more than good intentions.

Ranking: 4/10
He’s got enthusiasm but lacks the polish needed to impress corporate head-hunters.

2. Communication: Can Clark Deliver a Clear Message?

Clark is a guy who talks a big game. Whether he’s rallying the troops (aka his family) or over-explaining his latest harebrained scheme, he’s never short on words. But clarity? Not so much. His “motivational speeches” often leave listeners baffled, if not mildly terrified.

Clark Quote: “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas!”

Commanding? Yes. Inspiring? Debatable.

Ranking: 6/10
He’s loud and persistent, but a CEO needs to inspire confidence, not confusion.

3. Team Building: Is He the Ultimate People Person?

Clark excels at gathering a team—even if it’s just his reluctant family and a squirrel. While his intentions are noble, his plans frequently unravel, leaving his “team” stressed, injured, or emotionally drained. Morale? Let’s just say HR would have their hands full.

Clark Quote: “It’s all part of the experience, honey.”

Sure, if you count trauma bonding as team building.

Ranking: 6/10
He’s got spirit, but his methods could lead to a staff walkout faster than you can say "turkey explosion."

4. Company Vision: Can He See the Big Picture?

Clark’s vision is, admittedly, ambitious—if not wildly impractical. Whether it’s 25,000 Christmas lights or a bonus-funded swimming pool, his dreams are always huge. Unfortunately, his execution is usually more “hot mess” than “high success.”

Clark Quote: “This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here!”

Translation: His big-picture plans often set off alarms—literally.

Ranking: 7/10
A true visionary, but he could use a reality check.

5. Leadership Skills: Can Clark Rally the Troops?

Clark’s leadership style is a blend of blind optimism and stubborn persistence. He’s determined to lead his family into the chaos of his own making, and they usually (begrudgingly) follow. In a corporate setting, though, his approach might lead to high turnover rates.

Clark Quote: “When Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!”

Points for passion, minus a few for, uh, decorum.

Ranking: 6/10
He’s committed, but his leadership might leave employees wishing for a new job—or therapy.

6. Empathy Skills: Does Clark Care About Others?

Beneath the chaos, Clark is a deeply empathetic guy. He genuinely wants everyone to be happy—whether it’s his wife, kids, or Cousin Eddie. His problem? His “help” often creates more headaches than solutions.

Clark Quote: “I did it for us, honey.”

Bless his heart, but empathy without practicality is just wishful thinking.

Ranking: 8/10
Clark’s heart is in the right place, even if his actions scream “disaster waiting to happen.”

7. Crisis Management: Can He Handle Chaos?

If there’s one thing Clark is familiar with, it’s chaos. Exploding turkeys? Check. Squirrels in the Christmas tree? Check. He confronts disaster head-on—but not necessarily with grace. Let’s just say his crisis “solutions” might create more problems than they solve.

Clark Quote: “We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas!”

Admirable optimism, but CEOs need cool heads, not flailing arms.

Ranking: 5/10
Great enthusiasm, terrible execution.

8. Risk Taker: Is He Bold Enough for the Role?

If risk-taking were a sport, Clark would be world champion Olympic gold medalist. He’s fearless (or clueless?) when it comes to taking big leaps—whether it’s decorating the house like a landing strip or trusting Cousin Eddie to “help.”

Clark Quote: “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.”

A true gambler, but the board of directors might break out in hives.

Ranking: 7/10
Boldness is great, but recklessness? Not so much.

9. Trust: Can Clark Earn It?

Clark is undeniably well-meaning, but trust? Well, that’s earned. His family loves him despite his shortcomings, but a team of professionals might not be so forgiving when his plans inevitably fall apart.

Clark Quote: “Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?”

Trust issues, anyone?

Ranking: 6/10
Clark tries, but trust requires consistency—not chaos.

10. Final Competency: Could He Last in the Role?

Clark might survive a day as CEO, but would he thrive? Unlikely. His relentless optimism is commendable, but his tendency to create chaos would quickly test the patience of shareholders and employees alike.

Clark Quote: “I’ve got a lot of shopping to do to replace what I lost!”

Spoiler: What he lost is probably his job.

Ranking: 5/10
He might last long enough to get his Christmas bonus, but not much longer.