Could Michael Myers Hack It in Business As A CEO? A Corporate Evaluation?

Michael Myers: the silent, relentless slasher nut job of the Halloween movies. But could this infamous character hack it (pun intended) in the boardroom instead of a horror flick?

Let’s review his skills across critical CEO traits to see if the office world could handle him.

(Spoiler alert: HR might have a meltdown.)

1. Experience: "Decades of Persistent Pursuit"

Michael’s career spans decades, which proves that his experience in his “craft” can’t be overlooked. While retiring might’ve been the obvious choice, his neverending dedication and consistency would certainly demonstrate value in the corporate world. After all, sticking to a goal for decades is no easy feat—even if his goals are more… sinister.

Score: 8/10
Quote: "It’s the boogeyman, and as a CEO, he wouldn’t stop until the shareholders’ goals are met."

2. Communication: "Silent But Deadly"

Communication is not Michael's strong suit—it might be his weakest. He doesn’t talk. At all. In the corporate world, a CEO must communicate a vision, motivate employees, and hold press conferences. Staring blankly at people, however, probably won’t inspire much confidence.

Score: 0/10
Quote: "You can’t build a team when all you’ve got to say is crickets."

3. Team Building: "One-Man Show"

Michael is the epitome of a one-man show. Sure, independence is a strength, but in corporate settings, teamwork is non-negotiable. A team that’s too scared to collaborate probably won’t drive success. Also, his habit of “eliminating” competition is frowned upon in most industries.

Score: 0/10
Quote: "Michael doesn’t share the workload—he eliminates it."

4. Company Vision: "Focused on the Long Game"

Michael undeniably has a vision. His relentless pursuit of goals is impressive. But distractions like prison sentences tend to delay progress. If only he could channel that determination into revenue growth instead of, you know, chaos.

Score: 5/10
Quote: "Nothing can stop him, not even bankruptcy—or Jamie Lee Curtis."

5. Leadership Skills: "Fear Isn’t the Only Motivator"

Michael’s leadership style is—let’s just say—intimidating. While fear might compel action in a horror movie, it’s not exactly a winning corporate strategy. A great CEO inspires their team, not terrifies them.

Score: 3/10
Quote: "A knife in the boardroom doesn’t inspire trust—it gets you security called."

6. Empathy Skills: "Ice-Cold Killer Vibes"

Empathy is a core leadership quality—and Michael has none. If an employee came to him with concerns, his response would probably be a chilling head tilt and a quiet walk away. Employee well-being wouldn’t thrive under his watch.

Score: 0/10
Quote: "Compassion isn’t his strong suit unless 'spare no one' counts."

7. Crisis Management: "Unflappable Under Pressure"

Say what you will about Michael, but he’s calm under pressure. Whether he’s dodging authorities or arriving just in time for Halloween, he never panics. A crisis in the office? He’d likely face it head-on—or stalk it slowly.

Score: 8/10
Quote: "No matter the chaos, Michael keeps his cool—unsettlingly so."

8. Risk Taker: "High-Stakes Operator"

Every move Michael makes is high-stakes—and somehow, it often pays off (for him). This trait could in a disturbing way show innovation in the boardroom. But his total disregard for consequences? That’s a double-edged sword.

Score: 5/10
Quote: "He doesn’t hesitate to leap, but would you want to follow him off that cliff?"

9. Trust: "A Trust Fall Gone Wrong"

Trust is the foundation of leadership—and Michael isn’t exactly trustworthy. Let’s be honest: trusting him with a business strategy (or your back) seems like a recipe for disaster.

Score: 0/10
Quote: "Trust Michael? You’re braver than most horror movie victims."

10. Lasting Ability in the Role: "Timeless Villain Energy"

Michael Myers has survived everything from explosions to fire to being shot. Longevity? He’s got it in spades. In the ruthless world of business, his ability to “stay alive” might actually be an asset. Competitors wouldn’t stand a chance.

Score: 9/10
Quote: "Michael Myers: proving that sometimes, survival is the best strategy."

Final Thoughts: Could Michael Myers Really Be a CEO?

While Michael's experience, focus, and longevity are impressive, his inability to communicate, build trust, or empathize with others makes him a horrifying fit for the boardroom.

Important Note On Diversity And Inclusion

In this modern age of inclusivity and anti-discrimination, it’s important to note that denying someone a role purely based on their ominous aura and questionable history could be deemed unfair. After all, if he scored at all, maybe there’s a small grain of potential in there somewhere... right?

Want more corporate makeovers for your favourite horror icons? Let me know! 🎃