How To Deal With A Boss Who Undermines And Reclaim Your Confidence

Do you work with a boss who consistently undermines you? Do they answer questions on your behalf or micromanage your work? This frustrating behaviour isn’t just poor management—it can severely affect your professional development and mental well-being.

Let’s identify some traits of this unhelpful management style:

Speaking Over You

• In meetings, they may interrupt you or finish your sentences, cutting you off mid-thought.

Email Interference

• They reply to emails you’ve sent, reiterating or slightly altering your points to make it seem as though the response came from them, not you.

Lack of Trust

• They insist on carrying out tasks themselves rather than delegating to you, showing little faith in your abilities.

Suppressing Your Worth

• By inserting themselves into everything you do, they prevent you from demonstrating your true value.

Career Stagnation

• Their lack of trust and need to take credit may leave your contributions unnoticed, hindering your career growth.

Public Criticism

• They may critique even minor aspects of your work, often in front of others, eroding your confidence and reputation.

If you’re experiencing these behaviours, it’s crucial to take action. Remaining silent will only allow the problem to persist, but addressing it can feel daunting—especially if your confidence has taken a hit.

What You Can Do About It

1. Have an Honest Conversation
Your first step should be to speak directly to your boss about their behaviour. Ideally, this would occur during a one-to-one meeting or review session. Be honest and explain how their actions are affecting you. Sometimes, they may not realise the impact of their behaviour and could adjust once it’s brought to their attention. However, there’s also the possibility they may disagree, believing their approach is necessary—even when it isn’t.

2. Seek a Second Opinion
If speaking to your boss doesn’t yield results, consider discussing the issue with someone else in your organisation. This could be a trusted colleague, a mentor, or another manager. They may provide valuable insights or advice on how to proceed.

3. Escalate if Necessary
If the problem persists and becomes unbearable, escalating the issue to your boss’s manager or HR may be the next step. While this can feel intimidating, you shouldn’t have to endure toxic behaviour. Your workplace should provide an environment where you feel respected and supported.

4. Document Everything
Keep a record of incidents as they occur. Maintain a journal with dates, specific actions, and any witnesses. If you ever need to protect your rights as an employee, this documentation will be invaluable.

5. Consider Moving On
If all else fails and the situation remains intolerable, it might be time to explore opportunities elsewhere. A fresh start in a healthier environment could be the best option for your career and mental health.

A Positive Outlook

Dealing with an undermining boss can feel disheartening, but it’s also an opportunity to demonstrate resilience and self-advocacy. By addressing the issue calmly and strategically, you’re taking control of your professional journey. Whether you succeed in improving the situation or decide to move on, remember that your value as a professional is not defined by one person’s poor management style.

Stay confident, stay proactive, and don’t let anyone dim your light. Better opportunities—and better managers—are always out there, waiting for someone as capable and determined as you.

Good Luck!